Navigating Behavior in Early Childhood
You may not be surprised to hear that 88% of millennial parents say their parenting style is different than the way they were raised. Equipped with more scientifically-backed knowledge than ever before, we are rewriting the playbook when it comes to how we raise our children. But in the age of social media and “parent influencers” it can be overwhelming to decipher what is actual psychology from opinions. Despite the advantage of having knowledge at our fingertips, parenting through challenging behaviors is still incredibly difficult.
As early childhood educators, we believe in two very important tools when it comes to preparing ourselves for appropriately managing behaviors:
1.Knowledge: the more we know about how a child’s brain works, and what is developmentally appropriate, the easier it becomes to respond to behaviors.
2: Emotional Regulation of caregivers: RL Knost once said, “When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it's our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.” It is human nature to feel frustrated in the face of undesirable behaviors, but as adults, we can shift the outcome of a lot of these situations by practicing our own emotional regulation, and gaining control over how we react to behaviors.
As your partner in parenting, we’ve summarized our “must-know” information when it comes to early childhood behavior. So, whether you're seeking insights, strategies, or simply a supportive community, we're here to journey alongside you. Grab a cup of tea, settle in, and let's delve into the intriguing world of understanding and guiding our little ones' behaviors.
What is Child Behavior?
Behavior is how young children communicate with their caregivers! Children often communicate through their actions as they're still getting the hang of verbal communication and handling their emotions. It's vital for adults to assist them in learning how to express themselves clearly. Providing safe environments where they can practice sharing their wants and needs is key. Until they become proficient in verbal expression, they'll rely on actions to convey their thoughts, which is perfectly normal.
Biting in the toddler stage is a great example of children using their actions to express themselves. Toddlers will often bite for a variety of reasons: they may be hungry, upset, tired, feeling ill, or even bored. One behavior - biting - has many different possible explanations, and it is developmentally appropriate for a child to bite until they are able to verbalize what they need in the moment.
How do I know if my child’s behavior is normal?
An easy way to quickly tell if your child’s behavior is normal is to compare what you notice about your child to the milestones for their age group. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has milestones for each age group listed on their website, as well as a mobile app available for download where you can track your child’s development! Below are a few common, undesirable but appropriate behaviors for each age group starting with toddlers:
Young Toddlers (18 - 24 months)
Crying, screaming
Falling to the floor or throwing themselves on the floor
Stiffened body
Older Toddlers (25 - 35 months)
All of the above, plus:
Biting themselves or others
Holding their breath (to the point of passing out)
Banging their head on a wall/floor/other object
It’s also important to note that during this stage you are likely to see increased intensity, frequency, and duration of tantrums as children learn to regulate their emotions, communicate their needs, and learn the acceptable boundaries of behavior.
Preschool (3 - 4 years old)
Any of the previously listed behaviors, HOWEVER: as their communication and emotional regulation skills continue to improve, the frequency and intensity of tantrums should begin to decrease.
Pre-Kindergarten (4 - 5 years old)
Arguing, yelling/screaming
Tantrums at this stage are typically the outcome of any of the following:
Unmet physical need (tired, hungry, cold/hot)
Age-inappropriate expectations (expecting either too much or not enough based on developmental stage)
EATS (Escape from a demand or task, Attention, Tangible object/item, Sensory need)
Lack of structure and predictability
How do I know if my child needs to see a behavioral specialist?
Recognizing the need for a behavioral specialist for your child involves paying attention to their behavior, emotions, and overall well-being. Here are some signs that may indicate it's time to consult a behavioral specialist:
1. Consistent Behavioral Challenges: If your child often acts out in ways that disrupt daily life, like being overly aggressive or refusing to follow rules, it might be time to consider a behavioral specialist.
2. Emotional Struggles: If your child seems really sad or anxious a lot, or has trouble handling their feelings, a specialist can teach them better ways to cope.
3. Sudden Changes in Behavior: If your child's behavior suddenly changes, like becoming really withdrawn or acting out more than usual, it's worth getting some expert advice to understand why.
4. Family Stress: If your child's behavior is causing a lot of stress at home, a specialist can help figure out how to manage it and make things better for everyone.
5. Dealing with Big Changes: If your child has been through something tough, like a divorce or a move, a specialist can help them work through their feelings and adjust.
6. Trusting Your Instincts: If you're worried about your child for any reason, it's always okay to seek help. Trust your gut, and don't hesitate to reach out to a pediatrician or school counselor for guidance.
Wrap-Up
At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that every child is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach to supporting your child’s growth. By fostering open communication, practicing patience, and seeking understanding, we can build strong foundations for our children's development. Let's continue to celebrate the small victories, learn from the challenges, and support each other on this remarkable journey of guiding our children through the ups and downs of growing up. Together, we can empower our children to thrive and flourish, creating a brighter future for them and for the world!
How can I address behavior problems?
Taking a proactive approach to your child’s behavior is the best way to address any potential problems. Actions like establishing a consistent routine, offering age-appropriate choices when you’re able to, and modeling emotional regulation are good first steps to take. You can also rely on your child’s teachers and administrators at their daycare for guidance and resources if you have concerns. These professionals usually have connections to providers or resources in the community and will be able to guide you on the right path for your child.
What are behavior disorders?
Behavior disorders in young children refer to patterns of behavior that stand out as significantly different from what is typically expected for their age. These behaviors are more than just occasional misbehavior; they're persistent and can make it tough for children to get along at home, in school, or with friends.
Signs of behavior disorders may include things like:
Being overly aggressive: Constantly getting into fights or using mean words.
Defying rules: Ignoring instructions and not listening to adults or teachers.
Acting on impulses: Doing things without thinking about the consequences.
Being overly restless: Having trouble sitting still or staying focused.
Destroying things: Purposefully damaging belongings or property.
Lying or stealing: Not telling the truth or taking things that don't belong to them.
Struggling with friends: Finding it hard to make or keep friends.
Having problems at school: Poor performance due to disruptive behavior or not paying attention.
